#jobless101

 

What to do in between jobs
By: Morgan Dortch

1. Spend the whole first week feeling like a worthless bum while searching hopelessly on indeed.com.

2. Discover your town only has opportunity if you spend all your money on college. to become a nurse. or! your content making $8/hr. for forever. if your lucky.

3. Give up on finding a job since you literally applied everywhere. Wonder if you memorized your phone number wrong… Work on becoming famous on youtube.

4. Realize your not Jenna Marbles

5. Snuggle kitten

6. Study social media to an obnoxious extent since you want to be a singer and that’s how you do it these days.

7. Realize you arnt social media material.

8. Pet old dog who constantly begs for your attention.

9. Wash hands that smell like old dog.

10. Be a mermaid. Make soup. Watch movies about food to get your mind off the fact that your still doing nothing productive in life.

11. Snuggle kitten.

12. Repeat

13. Wake up, work out, go job searching. See you have 3 more followers !!!! The world is yours !

14. Be depressed your life revolves around social media.

15. Check indeed again. Realize your town offers nothing.

16. Contemplate spending all your money on college.

17. Make pancakes.

18. Play piano overly loudly to drown out self pity.

19. Try to write song

20. Realize you have to have a life to write good songs.

21. Snuggle kitten, pet old dog

22. Breathe. Realize your not gonna relive the same day over and over.

23. Get off of Pinterest

24. Seriously. Realize it’s ok. Mostly because I’m a mermaid.

mermaid

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