Singing the First Trimester Blues

Hang in there lil mama. I know you feel like sh!t. I know you are nervous… and scared… and anxious… and overly excited and horney… and at the same time nauseous, but you are not alone. Your person may not understand, or accommodate you the way you had dreamed. Hey, they are probably just as emotional; not as hormonal and hangry, but it’s emotional on them too. Here are my thoughts and things I learned in my first trimester of my first pregnancy.

1. Apparently the 5lbs I gained was simply because I’m a fatty. I suggest you keep moving even though you feel like your constantly hungover.

2. People get weirded out when you refer to your baby as a tiny human. Why? I have no idea. I guess some people haven’t watched Greys Anatomy after all. Still refer to tiny human as your tiny human.

3. I was pretty confident from the very beginning that’s it’s a girl. I’ll let you know in February if I’m right. So maybe you intuitively know? Probably not, but I’m going with she’s a girl.

4. Ginger ale will be your best friend. Even if you once abored sodas.

5. Prenatal gummies are the worst. Get the pills.

6. Start looking at lists of things your baby will need. There are approximately 81017 strollers out there, and you need to register for one soon.

7. It’s ok that your umotivated and already getting fat. At least that what I keep telling myself. Therefor, I’m  also telling you. You know, just in case your husband keeps insisting that your bump is just a food baby. That’s his freaking baby, and not the 3 hot pockets you just devored ok. Real. Baby.

8. Pickles and ice cream is a real thing.

9. Even if you loved your job before, you’ll hate it. Mostly because you’ll hate everything that isn’t the bed, couch, or cantaloupes. This will soon pass.

10. You get to witness a miracle.  You have your own tiny human that you are incubating. You’ll have her/him as your background on your phone, and inform complete strangers that your child is now the size of a lime, and has fingernails. You’ll fall head over heels in love with your child. At first, you may cry because your pants don’t fit, you can’t have 6 cups of coffee a day, any sushi, or over easy eggs, but!!!!! then something weird happens. You start to evolve into a mother. Suddenly you aren’t even tempted by these things because they could  harm your child. (Also your best friend promised a sushi date when you can have it again so you’d stop wigging out.) Slowly, you become second, and this unborn child becomes first. You don’t text and drive, you don’t even drink eggnog. You my friend, are a good lil mama. Hang in there my friend, and enjoy your tiny human. Enjoy the very beginning of motherhood, and make sure you are always close to a bathroom. I’m pretty sure it’s possible to pee 16 times in one hour already…



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